Humor from the Darkside... of the line. - Delayed Surprise

It takes a crafty person to come up with different ways to pull pranks yet it takes no effort for me to be a jerk while doing it; they both seemed intertwined and I walk that line quite often.

To me I was always enthused about the anticipation of the prank; the scheming, the waiting and then the pulling off of the prank. Not much is better than the long delay of the actual prank, to the point you actually forget you did the prank, like an overnight prank.

To set the scene up: I was working night shift and apart of any great line cook is leaving your station set up and ready for success for the next shift and expecting the follow day shift to do the same for you. I always pride myself on leaving my station "Locked, Stocked and Ready to Rock" and when done I would put the items used to fill the line back in the walk in in their oppropriate spots, this is when my next devious prank came to me. 

I knew that the day shift during the Monday to Friday shifts made lots of Tuna melts that were on the menu to the point that you just couldnt make too much "Tuna mix"  to be prepared enough. The "Broil" guy Dave and the "Pantry" guy Christian both used Tuna mix on different items on the menu and both were short in stature, this is where things began. Now back in these days we portioned up everything and then for ease of space and lack of inserts we put these portions in empty 4 litre sour cream pails. The genius I am, I labelled one of these buckets as Tuna Mix in my best writing I could as i have terrible writing on a good day, then filled the pail 3/4 full of water and placed it on the top shelf of the the shelving in the cooler, label out of course. Then I took a large gallon measuring cup filled it with water and poured that water into the remainder of the pail on the shelf until it was just below the top, carefully I put on the lid on all but on side of the pail knowing that when a "vertically challenged" person grabs it the will tip it towards them as the pull it off the shelf releasing all the gloriously cold water on them.

The scene was set and the anticipation was high but time was now to sit back and wait. My shift ended and I went off to enjoy a beer and relax before starting agin the next day.

I was the first of the night crew to arrive that following evening; I waited for someone to say "Hey, do you know anything about ...?" or "Did you put the Tuna Mix on the shelf?" or "Did you hear what happened to...?", but none of these things happened. Dave and Christian just gave me a run down of what prep they had left and took off for the night and no one said a word.

I did my line set and temp checks for everything making sure I was set up the way I like for my shift and in doing so checking to see if the Tuna mix container was gone and that the prank happened; no tuna mix container was present. FYI: It always seems that the shift before yours, no matter day or night, never sets up "properly". I got the line set, the team was ready to rock. The night crew rolled on line and we geared up for the night ahead; then the chef wandered on to Expo and arranged his garnishes the way he likes when I asked him " Hey Darcy, did anyone have any issues with the close last night?", I tried to get a reaction to what I anticipated to be a great story. "No man, everything was fine." he answered back.

I was confused, I was thinking that someone caught on to my prank and it was a lame duck. "oh, I responded, I thought maybe someone had a shower in the walk in cooler." I bluntly said. 

"THAT WAS YOU?????" Chef Darcy exclaimed with a chuckle, "Dave saw it there and got a little wet and left it on the shelf then during the rush he asked Christian to get it!" (Christian is a little Phillapino guy who was maybe 5 feet tall ). I laughed  as Darcy continued ".. all of a sudden we hear Christian yelling from the cooler and Dave losing his shit with laughter. Christian came out of the walki in cooler drenched swearing up a storm! He thought it was Dave that did it and set him up even when Dave denied it!" 

And the legend of Scotty Mac pranks contiued...

The Love Affair with Food - Part Deux! - The Volume of What I Do

Finally after about a year doing dishes I finally earned my way out of the "pit" and up to an assistant line cook roll. I became the grunt of the kitchen.. a step slightly above a dishewasher but I still got to be apart of the "action". I was so proud of being an assistant line cook, I got to steam vegetables, cook beef ribs, make scalloped potatoes, cook "roasties" (deep fried tater tot type potatoes about the size of a child's fist) and other small tasks not to mention being the Prime Rib Chef's personal cleaning machine. While I do have some nagging memories of him going through everything with a fine tooth comb and white cloth I can honestly say that I learned alot from his dedication to cleanliness in the kitchen and his eye for detail. Sammy's station and Alto Sham roasting ovens were so clean they looked brand new, if i missed even a spec of dirt he was all over me to do it again.

This position lasted for 6 months before I moved into a line cook position then a prep cook and eventually brunch supervisor. I had recieved a scholarship bursaries from the BC Chefs' Association and from Konning's Wholesale (now Sysco Foods) to apply to my training course I was enrolled in however my chef said I would learn more on the job and that I should not go to school. What he said made sense at the time because why would learning from a book be better than real life? In retro spec this was my first real mistake I made as I agreed with him and withdrew from school just 3 days before class was to begin. By the time I had forasken at school I now was doing ordering and helping with inventory, doing prep charts and generally doing every position in the kitchen being the team player that was the "Go-To" guy for any issues that came up. I had a chef who encouraged my learning and gave me more and more responsibility, I may not have always had the training I required to do the tasks I was given but I did absorb everything I could in the way of information and dealing with the tasks I was given. I felt like king of the world, 

The learning eventually grew stagnant, a routine of daily activities developed and I was not feeling pushed to learn anymore so an opprotunity came to move on to a new place after three years at my first job. One of the chefs at my first job had moved to Milestones Restaurant and offered a position. At the time Milestones was a new concept company with 4 stores (now over 50) and it was a new experience that I was looking forward to, a new opprotunity to learn. I was king of the world in my eyes and could take on any task.. slap in the face and kick in the arse was about to come..

(This  above photo is the actual Milestones Restaurant I worked at in Burnaby)

Milestones was the first restaurant I experienced "high volume" in an upscale casual setting. 200 to 300 lunches between 11:30 am and 2pm and dinner time was much the same and both with 7 minutes and 12 minutes timing standards respectively. I was hired as a prep guy to start, this was a prep list 5 times bigger than my previous workload and most of it was a daily prep, needless to say I struggled. I was moved to saute during the day time, AKA "eggs".



OH MY GOD.

What an intense ride that was. There is a saying in kitchens, sink or swim, I drowned. I could not keep up with the timing of the kitchen, I could not keep the memory of all the ingredients in the 10 different omelts, the 10 different scrambles and the 15 different bennies all in my head and produce a quality product to sell. If I had not already prooved myself to the chef at a different job I was sure to be fired, instead he sent me to the dish pit again. I took the time to right out the breakfast items on flash cards and forced myself to memorize them knowing that someday I would have an opprotunity to bounce back.
 2 or 3 months later i had my chance. I was a changed person. I had a new fire and energy that first shift; it wasn't perfect but it was an improvement. From this experience I taught myself my biggest key to my future success: AFTER EVERY SHIFT MENTALLY REVIEW HOW THE NIGHT WENT AND THINK OF HOW I CAN MAKE THE SHIFT BETTER.



To be perfectly honest this was by far the biggest game changing thought that would follow me in life. I was now off to the races and determined to redeem myself and be the "Go-To" guy once again. This took time but four and a half years later I was in the situation again where I was growing stagnant and felt my career needed a new path.



The same chef I worked with at my first job once again called to me and offered me a sous chef position at a place in Kitsalano ("Kits"), a small suburb in Vancouver area close to the local University of BC.




For the record here are some of the breakfast items I still remember off the top of my head:

Ensenada Frittata : Sour cream, Guacamole, Salsa, Muchrooms, Cheddar, jack cheese, Green Onions,
Green Eggs and Ham: Pesto, ham, tomatos, onions topped with feta
Spin/Fet/Mush Omlet: Spinach feta Mushrooms (Spin/Fet/Mush Scram is same thing)
3 Cheese Omlet: Cheddar, Mozza, Parmesan and green onions
Greek Omlet: Tomato, olives, onions, feta
Breakfast Burrito: scrambled eggs and salsa in a whole wheat tortilla with sour cream, black bean puree and cheddar.
Huevos Rancheros: scrambled eggs and salsa served with a black bean and cheese quesadilla
Eggs Espresso: Scrambled eggs with hot water
Eggs Romero: benny with tomato and caviar
Eggs Neptune: cream cheese avocado, shrimp and crab
Eggs Milestones: Avocado and tomato
Basic Benny: Ham
Blackstone Benny; Tomato and ham

Not too shabby for a restaurant I worked at 20 years ago!

Humor from the Darkside...of the line.

I love to make people laugh and smile but when in the kitchen i can do it while being a real jerk at the same time.

One day in my younger years I remember working a very busy Sunday Brunch. The typical brunch where we go through roughly 3 cases of eggs (1 case = 30 dozen = 360 eggs which is roughly 1100 eggs or 500 Benny's). We were all in the weeds and called for all hands on deck; we had 2 people on Pantry (salads / snadwiches / desserts ) 2 on charbroiler (1 person just reading the bills and loading the grill and the other topping the burgers, making the breakfast hash ), a plates person (someone who runs the pass), myself doing omlets, scrambles, poaching eggs, another guy doing benny bottoms, making toast, toasting buns for burgers and a fry guy cooking breakfast potatoes and making appetizers. a busy busy production in the works when suddenly I realize I am running low on liquid egg and whole eggs (liquid eggs are used for the omlets and scrambles) so I run off line to the back fridge to grab what we need.

Being the jokster I am on the way to the fridge I see a line up of shaker cups all along the spice shelf ( we use metal shaker cups incase of spillage to prevent breakage in the kitchen) so I, in my infinite wisdom and humor decide to pour an ounce of soy sauce in random pepsi drinks then head on my way to the cooler to get what I need.

The rush was one of those rushes where we are all on the same page and execution was fantastic, we were pounding out the food in 10 mins or less for almost 90 minutes straight. finally the rush slowed down and the support for the line went back to doing thier prep. Out of no where I hear a scream "BLEGHHHH  ........ F%$# YOU SCOTTY MAC!!"  I had forgotten about the prank I played on the team with the soy sauce.

What made it more funny is that it was such a gutteral reaction to yell and scream from the back prep hall when poor Ricky discovered his drink was sabbotaged and the profanity flooded into part of the dining room that was closest to the kitchen. 

Others had pleged their vengance that afternoon and vowed to destroy me in their revenge. I laughed it off as everyone did including the ones who I got and we continued to celebrate the great team we had and the moments of levity that relieves us from the stress of what we go through on line.

REVIEW: The Village Taphouse - West Vancouver BC

November 12th,  2016

This is a place i used to work at roughly 7 years ago and have not returned since then. It used to be one of my favorite places to work at and eat at.  

Apart of the Cactus Club Cafe group and a one off concept with menu designed by Iron Chef Rob Feenie when I was employed there I thought I would return and see where they have progressed in the years since my days in the kitchen.

Over the years there have been some minor modifications as expected, a few new tables and chairs, some new signage and definitely some new staff. the energy and friendliness was still the same though; upbeat, friendly, and disarmingly comfortable much like hanging out with an old friend.

My wife and I sat in a booth where we could take in all that was and reminise of days gone by and the memories made, hoping that the standards once set were still upheld and that the days of Chef Feenie tweaked menu were still present. We noticed that the menu had changed but some of the menu that was familiar in my days were still there all be it slightly changed. 

We ordered some salt and pepper chicken wings  with celery, ranch and blue cheese dip to start from our lovely waitress. I reminiced with her on how I used to work there and how it was our favorite place to go for a relaxing time. She was familiar with some of the changes and had been there for a few years but not long enough where our paths had crossed.

Our wings arrived promptly, neatly stacked the wings were a bit small yet nice and evenly seasoned. The celery that the wings came with were fresh out of the water bath they were in and should have been drained better, the ranch dressing was generic and the blue cheese dressing was unremarkable.

For our second course to our lunch we each had the "Mac and Cheese" with a burger patty added to it. The burgers used to be Chef Feenie's recipe and bold in flavor but have since changed to just a plain patty but he opted for the ground beef anyways as it was so much apart of our memories. The Mac n Cheese came in its signature mini cast iron fry pan with a few noted changes, the once cavatappi noodles (Scoobi-doo noodles) now rigatoni, the double smoked back bacon switched out for regular bacon. the sauce remained rich but now the flavorful taste it once had. Minor things to some clearly to save on some costs and minimize differences in previous version but for a refined pallette who remembers what it once was it was a slight let down. The cast iron pan needed to be in the oven a bit longer to truly help the pasta stay warmer longer and the topping needs to less pre toasted and have it properly finish in the oven making all the ingredients come together. When you cut corners to save time and money sometimes you just get a lesser quality.

The Before

The after:

Looking back at the menu I see different variations of the same stuff, not just the stuff that they had in the past but what everyone in the Vancouver area does, the only difference is that The Village Taphouse does it better.

I give The Village Taphouse a solid 3.5 / 5 

The Village Taphouse is located at Park Royal Mall in West Vancouver

900 Main Street, Village @  Park Royal

West Vancouver BC

The Love Affair with Food - Part 1 The Beginning

To take simple ingredients then cut them, pound them, mash them, slice them then to apply seasoning and heat to create an amazing dish just seemed to easy to me. 

I was five or six at the time and loved the thought of creating meals in the kitchen. I saw my Granny throw bones in a pot with some vegetable and a package of soup mix (lentils, barley, peas and orzo) and I would have the most amazing lunch when I was little. Watching her in the kitchen was my favorite way to spend time with my grandmother Martha aka "Mattie".  I watched her cook, bake and create all with love and seeing her smile when she saw how much we enjoyed the meals. 

My mother hated cooking, she despised it with a passion and often said her ideal house is one without a kitchen but she made some amazing baked goods; butter tarts, mincemeat tarts, Matrimonial cake (aka date bars) cinnamon buns, baking powder biscuits, fresh bread. I saw how she hated being in the kitchen and just the tediousness of creating a mess and having to clean it up, spending all day over a hot stove.

My father although he did not cook much in my younger years was an amazing cook. He was always in charge of the big feast dinners such as Christmas turkey or Easter ham. As I grew older and took more of an interest in cooking we made roast rosemary chicken and roast prime ribs together. He encouraged me to experiment and explore my pallet, never hesitating to go get the ingredients I wanted to use for a new creation I had. Together we would go out each summer and source fresh fruits from the orchards for canning and consumption, we would can freshly caught salmon and he would give me free reign on trying out new ideas with what we gathered.

Over time I developed a real passion for food and creating and had decided fairly young that I wanted to be a chef, to have my own restaurant and create food and memories that pleased the masses. My school studies always focused on food; if there was a Social Studies project I always chose the food aspect of it, when it came time to take electives all food courses were my first choice including working in the school cafeteria. Some people chose this as an "easy" course to take but not me, I chose it with the intention of being a sponge and absorbing everything I could. I asked questions, I stayed late, I volunteered for every thing I could. I wanted to be the go to guy even when I was just a student, I felt that this was my calling and I was the one person who knew where they were going in their life. 

I started working in a professional kitchen at the age of 17 as a dishwasher at one of my favorite restaurants, Mother Tuckers Restaurant (now called Tuckers Marketplace), where they specialized in steaks and prime rib. I continued to show up early much like i did in Foods A/B class but this time I would sometimes show up 2 hours early just to peel carrots or help weigh prime rib roasts that just arrived on delivery. I was as green as I could be in a kitchen but my heart and desire was there. I didn't let being a dishwasher discourage me at all, I figured that I got my foot in the door and it was all on me to earn the opportunity to work my way up.  

My career had started and I was determined to see my goal through.